Indecisive. Should or should I not?

My husband and I have a child in common and he desperately wants another one. he has two kids from a previous marriage. since my son was born, he walked out on us 4x. the first time he kicked us out 3mths after i gave birth. I am a lil skeptical about having more children with him. However, he tells that by having more children he can then give me security(not walking out on us). He wants another child and I also do bc I only have one but bc of the situation I prefer not to bring another live in this relationship. Ever since he's been back he's taking about having another child and I tell him no. When I bring up the birth control conver he does not want to hear it. So I told him whenever my period comes on again I will start w/my birthcontrol but he is against it. this is my 1st marriage. Is it wrong to go on birth control when he does not agree? Does that make me selfish? or I am putting my feet down and making sure that he grows up first. Btw the times he packed up and left, he went back to his mother's house. should I allow him to impregnant me or not bc he is my husband and comprimising is part of marriage? I told him he has until my cycle return or else birthcontrol till im ready. thank you for your opinion's and comments.